Celebrity Revolt - A humorous look at celebrity gossip and the lives of the rich and famous

If I Were A Wealthy Woman...

CR — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 20:16:23 GMT

For those of you reading this blog, I'm a middle class male. Why am I telling you this? Here it goes...I was listening to the TV, and I heard some actresses being interviewed about their dresses, and the reporter had to mention that one of the dresses cost $10,000. Valentino, Versace, Gucci, who cares. If I were a woman at one of these award shows, I would freak everybody out and wear a Wal-mart dress. That's right, Wal-mart. It would be refreshing to see a celebrity who showed up at a marquis event and wasn't name dropping and trying to out do everyone there.

Whoopi! So Sad For Someone With Such A Happy Name...

CR — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 20:11:57 GMT

Well, Whoopi's sad. From what I've heard, she's upset that she wasn't included in a montage of Academy Award hosts. I don't want to see Whoopi sad, so I'm going to cheer her up. Whoopi: If the worst thing going on in your life is being ignored by the person who edited you out of an Oscar segment, you're doing alright. Now, stop whining and complaining!

Miley Cyrus...The Leaked Photos!

CR — Sat, 29 Dec 2007 19:39:06 GMT

Well, it appears that Miley Cyrus and a female friend had a sleepover and took some pictures of them playing around that some people find questionable. I saw a few of them on a radio station web site, and the ones I saw looked like fairly tame Myspace pictures. What bugs me is her whining about the whole picture thing. Welcome to being a celebrity! I wouldn't like people leaking my photos to the press or having photographers following me around, but I really don't think I would mind if I had ridiculous amounts of money, millions of fans, and people willing to cater to my every whim. Think about it: Miley Cyrus is 15. What kind of car will she get when she's 16? Anyone she wants. What did I get when I was 16? I didn't get a car. I didn't get one until I was 18. It cost me $750 and had lots of problems. So, if any of you ever start to feel sorry for Miley, start thinking about how many more advantages she has, and comparatively, how little she has to deal with. It seems like a fair trade-off to me.

Marilyn Manson and Dita Von Teese Divorce!

CR — Sat, 29 Dec 2007 19:23:05 GMT

It's been in the works for a while, but it's final...Marilyn Manson and Dita Von Teese are divorced. Yahoo reports that Manson is dating actress Evan Rachel Wood. When I read that, I wasn't sure who Evan Rachel Wood was, so I checked out a picture and found out that she's hot. I have to tell you, she looks great, but she's no Dita Von Teese. To me, Dita is a 10, but with that said, I wouldn't pass on the new one either. Ahhh...the life of a rock star.

Shhhh...Tori Is Singing!

CR — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 13:27:05 GMT

This is unbelievable: Tori Amos stopped a recent concert in MID SONG to throw two women out of her show because they were talking. How dare they speak at a concert! Don't they know that you are supposed to remain seated at all times, sit up straight, don't speak, and be good upstanding citizens? How dare they speak and upset Tori Amos. They need to be punished! I sentence them to being forced to listen to Tori Amos' new album. That'll show them! I know it's harsh, but it has to be done...

Lynn Spears: Mother Of The Year! Tell Us How You Did It!

CR — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 13:08:23 GMT

Lynn Spears was reportedly planning on publishing a book on parenting. I kid you not. Let's see, one daughter pregnant at 16, and the other daughter has her kids taken away, divorced, flashes her crotch in public, has problems with drugs and alcohol, various legal problems, and overall, just flat out irresponsible. Well, she also has a son. Maybe he's doing ok. Here's another suggestion: She can title the book "Everything I've Done is Wrong: Do the Opposite for Parental Success". That could be a best seller.

Jamie Lynn Spears is Pregnant...And I'm SHOCKED!

CR — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 13:03:20 GMT

Here is a quote from Jamie Lynn Spears which she uttered in an interview with OK Magazine:

"It was a shock for both of us, so unexpected. I was in complete and total shock and so was he"

OK, she was in shock. Should you have really been in shock? Is it really that unexpected? First, you have sex, and second, it was probably unprotected. How can you be shocked when you find out you're pregnant? Although, what would you expect from someone who is too stupid to realize that she had a pretty good life going, then gets pregnant. By the way, save your criticisms, she's an idiot. That's the only word I can use to describe someone who seems to have a successful career acting in a children's story. Her career won't be as resilient as her sister's. Where as Britney's sluty/self-destructive behavior seems to fit in with her persona, Jamie Lynn's revolves on being a squeaky clean star of a kid's show. Hey Jamie, let us know what the unemployment line is like!

Oprah and Barack...That's The Ticket

CR — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 20:35:20 GMT

Oprah Winfrey and Barack Obama spent the day campaigning in Iowa today. I know a lot of people will be excited to witness Oprah's star power, but should it matter? Who cares in Oprah likes Obama? The last time I checked, she was one person with one vote. Any airhead who lets a celebrity endorsement determince their vote needs to have their head examined. Politics are already corrupted by money, and with the attention given to the Oprah endorsement, I'm afraid that celebrities will continue to poison the political arena.

You Might Be An Idiot...

CR — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 20:28:03 GMT

If you think Jennifer Love Hewitt is fat. When I firstsaw that headline, I was shocked. What guy wouldn't love to have a wife or girlfriend who looked like her? Which ever reporter wrote those storieshas zero credibility, which isn't much of a drop for them since they work for tabloids. In the mean time, I think they need to get the prescription checked on their glasses.

Jennifer Love Hewitt Is Getting Married

CR — Sun, 02 Dec 2007 13:58:26 GMT

If you've read any articles on this blog, you'll notice that I tend to pick on the whiny, spoiled, self-obsessed losers that seem to populate Hollywood. Britney Spears, Kanye West, Lindsay Lohan, etc have all been featured in articles on this blog. Heck, without them, I'd actually have to do something productive with my time. Anyway, this leads to my topic: Jennifer Love Hewitt. As far as I know, she has never flashed her crotch to the paparazzi, endangered the safety of children, spent time behind bars, or complained that she didn't get enough camera time during an awards show. When ever I've seen her being interviewed, she seems like a very nice, down-to-Earth person. Well, she announced this week that she is getting engaged. I know, I know, doesn't she know whe's supposed to go to Las Vegas and elope with some guy after a night at the club. Anyway, congratulations, and if you ever get a divorce, I'm single!

Kanye West: Whining Cry-Baby Extraordinaire

CR — Sat, 15 Sep 2007 20:16:35 GMT

     Kanye West in a whining cry baby. He whines when other people sell more records, he whines when he doesn't win awards, and now he's is whining because he didn't get to open the MTV Video Music Awards. During a performance before the VMA's, he blamed the color of his skin. I haven't decided if he is using this rationale to be controversial and get headlines, or because the man is truly a moron.

     Have you seen the VMA's? If you were to keep track of the race of every presenter, performer, nominee, and winner, I bet about half to two thirds are black. MTV is a lot of things, but prejudiced against black performers? I don't think so. He also fails to consider all the reasons that Britney Spears was chosen to open the awards. She's an awful singer, but she does have a large following, and she has sold lots of records. She's also in the tabloids everday for some crazy stunt. She's a walking accident! She gets headlines!

     Now, Kanye West could argue that it should be about talent and not tabloid headlines. About artists who are talented in the present, not the past. I would agree with him. Yet, if we had to have the most talented musician perform, he still wouldn't make the cut. Sorry Kanye!

Britney Spears MTV VMA Performance

CR — Sat, 15 Sep 2007 20:08:15 GMT

     I used to love MTV when it used to play music videos, didn't have inane shows, and didn't treat rock music like a second class citizen. This combination caused me to avoid MTV, but this past Sunday, I just had to watch the first 10 minutes of the Video Music Awards. I wasn't interested in watching a musical performance, I was interested in seeing a train wreck named Britney Spears!

     Over all, it met my expectations. I expected a horrible performance and I received one. For those of you who didn't see it: She looked out of it, barely danced (just stumbled around), lip synched, and for some parts she forgot to lip synch! The other celebrities seemed to be either annoyed or amused by her "performance". She also wore a nice costume that didn't look that nice on her.

     Now, I'm sure you have read articles or heard people talk about how fat Britney Spears has become, and how terrible she looked. If you want the truth, just listen to me: Compared to how she looked 5 years ago (when her body was a perfect 10), she resembles a morbidly obese hog. Compared to your typical woman, she looked great. For a woman who has popped out two kids? Awesome. Any straight guy who saw her in that outfit would check her out. If he says no, he's lying.

     Now, just to recap: The song was terrible, the singing was awful, the dancing was laughable, the outfit wasn't flattering, but the looks are definitely still there.

Check out Britney Spears at http://www.infamoushotties.com

Larry Birkhead and Howard K Stern have a Gay Old Time?

CR — Sun, 02 Sep 2007 11:00:15 GMT

The Anna Nicole Smith story is completely twisted in so many ways. Just when you thought it couldn't get any stranger, it does. TMZ is reporting that "journalist" Rita Cosby wrote a book alleging that Larry Birkhead and Howard K. Stern were gay lovers, and were allegedly caught in the act. From what I've read, a friend of Anna Nicole Smith's claims she walked in on them during a tryst. Ok, here's my take: Anna Nicole Smith was a mess. I don't know if I would pay much attention to a friend of hers who alleges something that no one else seems to have any knowledge of, especially if I were a "Journalist", as Rita Cosby probably trys to pass herself off as. Birkhead is quoted as saying, "If she printed that, then she is really getting sued". I don't blame you Larry!

Beauty Pageant Contestantt...Dumb Blonde...What's The Difference?

CR — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 14:20:55 GMT

What's the point of beauty contests...oops...I mean pageants? Supporters say that pageants such as Miss USA and Miss Teen USA aren't only focused on looks. They involve well-rounded young ladies who are intelligent and ambitious, and that pageants should be seen as more of a scholarship program. Some would make you think a beauty pageant is akin to being named a Rhodes Scholar. Fortunately, the typical person understands the truth. It's a way to parade some hot chicks around around in a socially appropriate way. We're not staring at the hottie, we're looking at the bright young woman in the bikini who hopes to cure cancer, adopt 15 children from third-world countries, get her PhD, and bring about world peace! If you think I'm wrong about my view, check out the clip below. If pageants were really about anything other than look, this chick would have never made it. Miss Teen South Carolina must have made her state proud!

I would have followed up the answer with another question: "Please spell the word 'Map'. We'll give you a hint. It begins with an 'M' and ends with a 'P'. You have 15 minutes to provide your answer". It's too bad the contestants don't get challenging questions like that.

Poor Lil Kim Has Big Problems

CR — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 14:02:44 GMT

This one made me laugh. Lil Kim was pulled over for driving a Lamborghini that had no plates (she said they weren't necessary), and she didn't have a license. She then complained that she wouldn't have been treated badly if she were just a regular person. That's right kim! The poor, anonymous people who drive their piece of crap cars to their low-paying jobs have all the breaks. I think she needs to take responsibility for her own actions and learn how to spell "little".

Steven Seagal: It's Not The Feds...It's You!

CR — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 13:38:06 GMT

About 10 or 15 years ago, Steven Seagal was a well-known, successful movie star. Now, he's just a guy who used to be a succesful, well-known movie star. Why the change? Well, if you listen to Steve, his career is in the toilet because the FBI has been investigating him. I thought it was because his movies were crap. Think about it...crap belongs in a toilet. Steve! It's not the Feds, t's your acting and trite action films! For the whole story, click the link.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070817/us_nm/seagal_dc

Will Britney Spears Lick Her Problems, or Just Shannon Funk?

CR — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 13:39:29 GMT

If someone asked me a few years ago to name my ideal woman (at least physically), I probably would have blurted out: Britney Spears! She had an awesome body, pretty face, wore next to nothing, seemed pleasant, and had an awesome body...oh I already said that. Anyway, she was undeniably hot. Well, lately, she doesn't seem so attractive. The face and body have gone down hill: Still impressive, but not what they were. Add to that the trips to rehab, self-destructive behavior, and the simple fact that I don't date bald chicks. Just when I thought I would have nothing in common with Britney Spears, I find a story that says we do indeed have something in common. We both like women! That's right, it seems like Ms. Spears has been having certain saphic tendencies.

In an article on Yahoo, it appears that Kevin Federline has subpoenad Britney's former assistant Shannon Funk, who is also allegedly...her lover! The article also reports that this is not Britney's first lesbian affair. I'm telling you, good stuff. Check out the article here: http://omg.yahoo.com/brits-ex-assistant-denies-romance/news/1708;_ylt=AuebTNVS6LkC67ezLPjryRMPpxx.

For more Britney Spears pictures and info, visit http://www.infamoushotties.com

iPhones are for wimps...right Foxy?

CR — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 15:31:07 GMT

Rapper Foxy Brown asaulted her neighbor recently...with her blackberry. I'm not a huge fan of the Blackberry, since I feel like it caters to business users more than a typical user, but now I have a whole new respect for that device. All I can picture are self-defense classes around the country trying to teach women to fend off attacker buy smacking them with a black (and blue) berry. I bet you couldn't smack anyone around with an iPhone. They're just too slim and dainty.

Breaking Christina Aguilera News! We Shed Some light...

CR — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 15:22:09 GMT

This just in: According to TMZ.com, Christina Aguilera went to the store to purchase light fixtures for her home. That's right, you read correctly, Christina Aguilera purchased a light! I don't know if it was a ceiling fixture, a sconce, or a plain, old lamp, but she did go light shopping, which begs the question, who cares?

When celebrities do stupid things, I like seeing them dragged through the mud. There's nothing worse than someone who has every advantage and continuosly squanders their good fortunes (can you hear me Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and Nicole Ritchie?), but really, why stalk people when they are lamp shopping? Wouldn't the paparazzi be better off following one of the walking headlines that was previously mentioned than hounding a couple on a shopping trip? By the way, if she buys a new lamp shade, I'll let you know.

For more, visit http://www.infamoushotties.com

4 Days For Nicole Richie? Are You Serious? Yup!

CR — Fri, 27 Jul 2007 12:51:42 GMT

Nicole Richie was sentenced to 90 hours in jail and a $2,000 fine for driving under the influence of marijuana and vicodin. It's her second offense, so she could have served up to a year. After reading about this travesty of justice at Yahoo (article linked below), I'm disgusted. The judge decided to grandstand and tell her how serious her offense was, then she caves and gives her 90 hours in prison...not even four full days! And a $2000 fine? she probably spends more than that on a pair of those huge sunglasses that many celebutantes seem to be wearing. The only decent part of the ruling is that she has 3 years hanging over her head.

Now, just to recap: Paris Hilton has time hanging over her head, Nicole Richie has 3 years to go, and there is a great chance that Lindsay Lohan will get substantial time if found guilty. That's one pretty prison party. Unfortunately, none of them have ever/will ever see the prison's general population. Wow, you know things are bad when Britney Spears starts to look like a good girl...

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070727/ap_en_ce/nicole_richie;_ylt=Ap0RoxI7wOl9W8uN9v7iIqWYExkF

Read more about Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears at http://www.infamoushotties.com